Hilariously Awful Travel Moments from Australia

OKAY, You’re probably thinking . ‘ What the hell, she banged on about how amazing this place was for a year’ It’s true, Australia is my favourite, I feel since I’ve recently spent a lot of time in America and am relocating to Canada in January that Oz has taken a bit of a back-step in life’s current conversations. ( More on why I am moving to Canada coming soon)

Despite Australia being the best place on the planet, looking back at the few things that annoyed me/ really irritated me at the time are now just funny to look back on.

And here they are:
‘When we got to Brisbane I literally thought I was going to die. ‘

This scenario was brought to you by a boating Club in Noosa. It all started when I got on the coach to take us to dinner. I was in a really good mood and also in the mood for a drink. Greg and I decided to share a bottle of wine and quite frankly it went downhill from then on. After more drinks and shots of the black sambuca variety, Ciara, Katie, Paddy and I went out to celebrate Paddy’s day of birth. I don’t remember getting home. I woke up the next morning in the my clothes from the night before and my washing still in the tumble dryer. In my half drunk/severely hungover state we managed to lose our room key ( the only place that bloody charged) $40 later Mark ( our tour manager) managed to real of a whole hour and forty minute speech about when the Olympics was in Sydney and how he got drunk with his dad and food and more alcohol and etc etc. All throughout this I had the terrible thought that I may have left my bag in the hotel. And so, when we got to Brisbane, yes, I literally thought I was going to die.

‘SHARK?!’

‘Sunset sea kayaking with Dolphins at Byron Bay’- Sounds ideal doesn’t it? OR NOT. Okay to start off with, I have really bad flexibility and it is really uncomfortable for me to sit down with my legs straight for prolonged periods of time. Okay, now that that’s out of the way I can get onto the good stuff… IT WAS FREEZING. Let’s not forget I was there in winter. Despite paddling against the tide for about 2 hours it was impossible to warm up. Someone kept calling out. ‘Shark!’ ‘Shark!’ Like , this is not a joke, I am already petrified of the sea plus they actually have sharks here. Oh, . We didn’t see any dolphins.

‘Harbour Bridge FLOP’

The bridge climb is apparently one of Sydney’s musts and I spoke almost two years ago about how I couldn’t disagree with this anymore. Here’s why. My main issue was that I wasn’t allowed to take a camera up with me. ( like wtf?!) and whilst the views were stunning at night we kept stopping in the freezing cold winter air to just look. All I wanted to do was take photos. They do actually have some several photo points at along the 4 hour walk but yes, you’ve guessed it- They are about £3748297492874 EACH. To top off my upset, I managed to lose my USA shorts. Australia was really trying to say something.

‘Start of the Shoe Saga’

Just to give you an idea of what this is all about – ‘I returned to the UK with the shoes on my feet. None of the shoes I actually took out with me made it back.’ – Yep and it all started on a walk from Bondi to Coogee on a lovely sunny day. We had just reached sight of Coogee and then, then it happened. My favourite pair of sandals ( from Primark) snapped. This was just the beginning.

‘I got refused entry from a club because apparently I was ‘intoxicated’ really.. Sydney does not like me. ‘

You’ve got the jist, the fact is, I wasn’t.. well maybe a little bit. I can definitely recall around 50 occasions where I’ve been practically crawling into clubs whilst at uni. Sydney is just clearly a bitch.